Friday, June 10, 2005

Weekend Homework

     No rant from me today. This weekend, I want to know what your definition of marriage is. (apologies and thanks to Leonard Pitts) There are only a few ground rules:
1) You may only post once. Delete it and start over if you must, but only one post per person.
2) Do not respond to another commenter. I will delete those.
3) Do not stray from the topic. There are plenty of other places, even on my blog, where you can talk about whatever you want. Here, all I want is your definition of marriage.

     That's it! Have fun. Everybody comment - I am looking forward to seeing what everybody thinks. No cheating! Big Brother Scott is watching.

9 comments:

rusty said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
rusty said...

That should have read "Indentured prostitution."

Amber said...

I know this sounds cheesy, but marriage is whatever you make it. I was married for ~3 years and our relationship certainly wasn't of the stereotypical, prescribed gender roles sort. You can't fairly make broad, sweeping statements across marriage and have it apply across the board.

Mike said...

First and foremost, marriage is an institution of God. Genesis 2:23 says,

"The man said,'This is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman', for she was taken out of me.' For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame."

This is the principle upon which I think marriage is based. The institution of marriage is intended for a man and a woman. The last sentence I take to mean sexual relations outside of marriage are immoral in the eyes of God, whether between a man and a woman or a man and a man or whoever.

As for the role between a man and a woman in marriage, Ephesians 5:22 says:

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

This is a difficult verse for people to understand in our age of the liberated woman. The feminist movement tells the modern woman she doesn't need a man, let alone submit to a man. I don't take this to mean the woman should just be a cheerleader for her husband. I think it is the role of the wife to provide wisdom and advice to her husband, but when the husband makes a decision it is the job of the wife to accept that decision and support it. Husbands are to think of the welfare of their wives before themselves.

So marriage is a give and take where the husband cares for his wife and the wife supports the husband. When my wife is upset, she isn't afraid to tell me. When she thinks I am about to make a huge mistake, she pleads with me to reconsider. Since I care for her more than myself, I can't help but listen to her concerns. Her anguish eats at me. But we both agree that in major decisions, my vote trumps hers. Once I make a decision she supports me because whatever we do we're in it together. I think this is why our marriage has been so successful and why I'm completely confident we will be married until "death do us part." I think if everyone followed this advice, we wouldn't have a 50% divorce rate in this country.

Alisa said...

Marriage = a two head hydra monster.

or maybe

Marriage = a communistic state in which all is done for the good of the masses and not the individual?

Marriage, it's a tough definition because you can look at it legally, politically, and religiously but not all three agree with each other.

Mainline Mom said...

I know what marriage is not. Marriage is not a 50/50 partnership as many would have you believe. It is a union, a becoming of one, where both partners give 100% of themselves to the other. Trying to acheive a 50/50 equal team is an exercise in futility. I belive marriage is a binding covenant meant to be until one partner dies, and all marriages, no matter how bad, could be salvaged if God is acknowledged and involved. Doesn't mean divorce is always wrong, just that it's not the only option despite what so many think. I personally know that forgivness and healing and restoration are always possible, even when it doesn't seem like it. I do believe marriage is spiritual and legal and should only be between a man and a woman. I think gender roles are appropriate but women are in no way inferior or unequal to men. Just different.

sideshow bob said...

My marriage is a union of soulmates. Many people we meet don't consider us to be married because we didn't exchange rings and we didn't get married in a church. It's very insulting, yet at the same time a little funny because our marriage is usually much stronger and happier than those who cast dispersions on us. We laugh together and hang out with each other more than any other couple I know.
Your marriage...I guess is best defined by you. And why shouldn't it be? Are we not all assumed to be rational adults when we come of age in this country, capable of making our own decisions in matters of the heart? Are we not allowed to pursue happiness? If the argument is over semantics, I guess "civil unions" would be an acceptable way to refer to gay marriage, although it seems a bit ridiculous to me.
Will society end because some whacko decides he wants to marry a dog or a refrigerator?...I sincerely doubt it. Our society is more than able to maintain mores of what is socially acceptable and what is not without undue interference from the government, or rather, people in the government who think they know best. The Tao Te Ching says in ch.57, "The more taboos and inhibitions there are in the world, the poorer the people become. The more articulate the laws and ordinances, the more robbers and theives arise."
And if it weren't on the news, few would care about, or likely even know about, gay marriage. (Kind of like how it is with the war.)

canis lupus said...

Just dropping by dude, to say hello. Just back from two weeks in Japan. Just had to see how you're keeping up. Apparently, very well ... I must say. ;)

Sylvana said...

To me, marriage is a legal contract between two people that acts much like a merger contract between two companies. Both are declaring to the government and the public that they are coming together, pooling their efforts and assets to become better over all, and promising not to make any secret deals with other companies/people. As far as a marriage goes, to be in love is not necessary, but can really help. A marriage may mean more to other people (especially if they are religious, but I'm not, so those meanings don't mean anything to me and I have the right in this country to be free of being forced to share those meanings).

If SSB and were not married it would not change our relationship at all, therefore, the marriage is not what makes our relationship. It is just a piece of paper that gives us certain privileges. In fact, we probably wouldn't have gone through the trouble of getting married if I could have still gotten him on my insurance. It cost $90 that we really could have used for other things, especially at that time in our lives! But it was a nice little humorous ceremony, just five adults (the judge and two witnesses + me and SSB) and our son- perfect for us.

We don't celebrate our marriage anniversary; we celebrate the date that we started dating, because that was the date that truly means something to us. In fact, when people ask our marriage date or how long we've been married- we don't really know what it is.

SSB is right, we have a better relationship than anyone we know. We have been together for 14 years and will be together for the rest of our lives. Not because of marriage, though. We made a commitment to each other long before we signed that paper; a commitment to look out for each other, laugh with each other, and share with each other. We don't need to be married for that.