No rant from me today. This weekend, I want to know what your definition of marriage is. (apologies and thanks to Leonard Pitts) There are only a few ground rules:
1) You may only post once. Delete it and start over if you must, but only one post per person.
2) Do not respond to another commenter. I will delete those.
3) Do not stray from the topic. There are plenty of other places, even on my blog, where you can talk about whatever you want. Here, all I want is your definition of marriage.
That's it! Have fun. Everybody comment - I am looking forward to seeing what everybody thinks. No cheating! Big Brother Scott is watching.
7 comments:
That should have read "Indentured prostitution."
I know this sounds cheesy, but marriage is whatever you make it. I was married for ~3 years and our relationship certainly wasn't of the stereotypical, prescribed gender roles sort. You can't fairly make broad, sweeping statements across marriage and have it apply across the board.
Marriage = a two head hydra monster.
or maybe
Marriage = a communistic state in which all is done for the good of the masses and not the individual?
Marriage, it's a tough definition because you can look at it legally, politically, and religiously but not all three agree with each other.
I know what marriage is not. Marriage is not a 50/50 partnership as many would have you believe. It is a union, a becoming of one, where both partners give 100% of themselves to the other. Trying to acheive a 50/50 equal team is an exercise in futility. I belive marriage is a binding covenant meant to be until one partner dies, and all marriages, no matter how bad, could be salvaged if God is acknowledged and involved. Doesn't mean divorce is always wrong, just that it's not the only option despite what so many think. I personally know that forgivness and healing and restoration are always possible, even when it doesn't seem like it. I do believe marriage is spiritual and legal and should only be between a man and a woman. I think gender roles are appropriate but women are in no way inferior or unequal to men. Just different.
My marriage is a union of soulmates. Many people we meet don't consider us to be married because we didn't exchange rings and we didn't get married in a church. It's very insulting, yet at the same time a little funny because our marriage is usually much stronger and happier than those who cast dispersions on us. We laugh together and hang out with each other more than any other couple I know.
Your marriage...I guess is best defined by you. And why shouldn't it be? Are we not all assumed to be rational adults when we come of age in this country, capable of making our own decisions in matters of the heart? Are we not allowed to pursue happiness? If the argument is over semantics, I guess "civil unions" would be an acceptable way to refer to gay marriage, although it seems a bit ridiculous to me.
Will society end because some whacko decides he wants to marry a dog or a refrigerator?...I sincerely doubt it. Our society is more than able to maintain mores of what is socially acceptable and what is not without undue interference from the government, or rather, people in the government who think they know best. The Tao Te Ching says in ch.57, "The more taboos and inhibitions there are in the world, the poorer the people become. The more articulate the laws and ordinances, the more robbers and theives arise."
And if it weren't on the news, few would care about, or likely even know about, gay marriage. (Kind of like how it is with the war.)
To me, marriage is a legal contract between two people that acts much like a merger contract between two companies. Both are declaring to the government and the public that they are coming together, pooling their efforts and assets to become better over all, and promising not to make any secret deals with other companies/people. As far as a marriage goes, to be in love is not necessary, but can really help. A marriage may mean more to other people (especially if they are religious, but I'm not, so those meanings don't mean anything to me and I have the right in this country to be free of being forced to share those meanings).
If SSB and were not married it would not change our relationship at all, therefore, the marriage is not what makes our relationship. It is just a piece of paper that gives us certain privileges. In fact, we probably wouldn't have gone through the trouble of getting married if I could have still gotten him on my insurance. It cost $90 that we really could have used for other things, especially at that time in our lives! But it was a nice little humorous ceremony, just five adults (the judge and two witnesses + me and SSB) and our son- perfect for us.
We don't celebrate our marriage anniversary; we celebrate the date that we started dating, because that was the date that truly means something to us. In fact, when people ask our marriage date or how long we've been married- we don't really know what it is.
SSB is right, we have a better relationship than anyone we know. We have been together for 14 years and will be together for the rest of our lives. Not because of marriage, though. We made a commitment to each other long before we signed that paper; a commitment to look out for each other, laugh with each other, and share with each other. We don't need to be married for that.
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